COMPARING IS A DANGEROUS GAME
Have you noticed how bad it can feel when we compare ourselves to others? When we look at the neighbor’s grass it often looks greener than ours. But the reality is that from a distance, the imperfections are less apparent. In any case, if the neighbor’s grass is so perfect because they use illegal pesticides, are you ready to do what they do? Or if you noticed that he spent every Sunday hunting dandelions because they bothered him and he wants to forget that his wife recently left him, would you be ready to trade your life for his? When we compare, we must do it honestly, or you will always lose. There are always two sides to every coin.
This is how I freed myself from envy
A few years ago, I spent a lot of time envying others. I envied my friends who traveled while I chose job security. I envied my girlfriend who rose through the ranks while I was well aware of the weight it put on her shoulders. Imagine, I even envied my divorced neighbour who only had her children one week out of 2. Fortunately one day a very wise person suggested that I take a piece of paper and write down all of the pros and cons of the lives of the people I envied and then ask myself if I was ready to trade my life for theirs. In a single morning, I understood just how ridiculous my attitude was. I finally understood that this need I had to dream of the lives of others came from the fact that I was not yet committed living MY genuine life. I had not yet accepted full responsibility for the choices I made and therefore did not yet have the capacity to fully appreciate what I had built over the years. In general, I waited for happiness to slap me in the face when it was right there, under my nose waiting for me to notice it. That day, I understood that I chose family rather than travel and that I chose balance rather than a great career.
When I got home, I hugged my children and I thanked the universe for having them with me every day. Since then, it still happens that I stare at the neighbour’s, but each time I catch myself, I stop and write down the reasons why I didn’t choose to have what the neighbour does in their yard. When I realize that deep down I really want what my neighbour has, I seek out the means to get it myself.
« Happiness is not found in the act of getting what we want, but of wanting what we have. » Rabbi Hyman Schachtel
And you, do you envy someone else in your circle of friends? Would you be willing to exchange your life with that person? Do the exercise of listing everything that you want. Share your experience, it may help others.
FOR THOSE WITH THE "MY ATTITUDE" PLANNER, take the time to fill out your report on page 88. This will allow you to appreciate everything you have done for yourself during these months. By filling out your wheel of life, think about what you can do in April to create even more abundance in your life.